July 01, 2020

5 Reasons Why You’ve Not Yet Met Your Soulmate On A Dating App

Face it. You can’t seem to find your true love while using a dating app because you’re misusing the app. You obviously aren’t pressing the right button, else Mr./Ms. Right would’ve appeared! 

I was just teasing. But really, maybe. You could be utilizing it wrongly. Not, like, function-wise. I am sure your pictures are amazing, and your bio is smart and detailed. But what if you don’t take it seriously? Perhaps you acknowledge the rumors that these apps are triggering a dating “apocalypse”? 

The reality is that Dating apps are yet another platform you can use to find a loving and healthy relationship. 

Know that if you see yourself practicing any of the below five activities, you may be preventing yourself from discovering your soulmate:

You’re not completely upfront with your dates regarding what you are looking for in a relationship. 

I’ve heard people advise others never to expose off the bat if they are looking for a serious, monogamous relationship. But, hey, why not? It’s not like you are telling them on the very first date that you are looking for a serious, monogamous relationship with THEM, per se just that you are looking for one of those in particular. If someone is so feeble-minded that they panic and run away after learning that, count yourself fortunate that you are not with them. If they’re not ready to commit to a serious, monogamous relationship right now, you’ve probably just saved yourself a ton of problems down the road.    

You are not truthful with yourself about what you’re not prepared to put up with. 

For instance, you’ve continued to date someone who has made it very clear that they’re not interested in a relationship with you. But somehow it’s all right with you, because, well, you’ve decided that you’re happy to have a relationship with that person. Not having proper boundaries about what type of relationship you desire could leave you in denial during a bad situation, and gradually eat away at your self-value and self-esteem. 

You’re the only one who’s chasing, but don’t think that’s a problem. 

Are you the only one following up a day before the date’s actual day, just to ensure it’s still on? Chasing. Are you the only one who initiates any contact? Chasing. Are you the only one who schedules the date? Chasing. Are you the only one who calls to check in because you have not heard from them? Chasing. Trust me. When anyone loves you and wishes to see you, you’re going to know. Let them come to you, too. Do not always be the one to chase, or you will never know your status with them.

You accept all the lies that you have been telling yourself regarding why you are still single. 

“I have dated all of the people available in this region by now!” Well, that’s unlikely. 

“There is no datable person out there!” Not possible. 

“People are being intimidated by me.” Maybe the dangerous ones, but you do not want those people anyway, trust me. Everybody loves the people who let them through into their hearts.

“I am not perfect enough.” Please, if you find out ways on how to value yourself, and I mean, truly Valve yourself. -You’re going to have numerous suitors that you wouldn’t even know what to do about them all. 

“but I am too old!” When last I checked, there were many people in your preferred age category searching for love. 

“All people want from dating apps is to hook up; they do not want to stick to a relationship.” While dating apps make it possible for people wanting to hook up, you can skim through those individuals by making it very clear from the start what you’re searching for—-If what you are searching for is more than a hookup. Please reread my first point.

After a few disappointing dates, you give up quickly, then blame the dating app. 

 It’s certainly frustrating when you are the type of person who wants to have total control of everything in your world, not knowing when your soul mate is going to turn up. Yet be confident that if you exist, he/she is out there as well. 

Meanwhile, go and spend some time figuring out what brings you, life purpose, meaning, and happiness. Continue going on dates, and make a real plan to work out ways to value yourself. When this occurs, it is just a matter of time until you finally press the button that will show … Your soul mate?